What kind of NHL player/personality would you be?

As a former college teammate of the Toe Drag crew joins the Rangers and embarks on the next phase of his NHL career, I've been thinking about this more and more. Our buddy is very low key and claims that he's not planning to be a part of the whole glamorous professional athlete in NYC thing. Whether or not that holds true is a different story. Either way, it got me thinking about what kind of NHL player I'd be. Would I be well-liked by the fans? Would I be vocal in the media? Would I be a presence in the social scene? Then it got me thinking about what type of NHL player the rest of the guys on this blog would be. I'll start it off and let the discussion go from here:

J Dubbs: Sean Avery...without the fashion sense.

Biggest Scumbag in the NHL

Who comes to mind? I think the guys on this site probably thought of Avery right away. Now, we know that he is a d!ck. But is he really a scumbag? Has he ever done anything so dirty as to injure another player or put a guy's life in jeopardy? No. He is a jackass and a d!ck, but not a total scumbag.

Bertuzzi, on the other hand, is a total scumbag. If there was a white trash hockey player, it would be him. His hit on Moore was one of the worst things I've ever seen anybody do on the ice (along with Simon's two hander across Hollweg's neck and McSorley's swing at Brashear...am I missing anything as bad as these three?). However, those other guys have shown some remorse, whereas Bertuzzi has shown none.

Now he is trying to blame Crawford. Now, all of us who write on this blog and most of you who read this blog (Are there any people in the second group who aren't also in the first group? ha)have played hockey. We all know that coaches may encourage players to seek some retribution on an opposing player after a dirty hit. But no one would ever encourage someone to do what Bertuzzi did. It was a play that would be viewed as totally unacceptable by anyone who has ever played hockey. Anyone. Even Avery. Even Simon. Even McSorley. Anyone.

Now we have an inside source among the NHL players who tells us that Bertuzzi continues to threaten other players on the ice. Inevitably, I'm sure guys who trash talk Bertuzzi on the ice remind him of the horrible thing he did. We know of at least one time where this has happened. Bertuzzi's response? Something to the effect of "You're next." Total scumbag. I hope that Moore gets everything he is asking for and that every penny comes out of Bertuzzi's pocket.

Here's the article that led to my rant:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/story?id=3543306

"A better team than the team I formerly played on"

Avery is a dick. That's why I loved him on the Rangers. At the same time he says some things some times just to get a rise out of people. I hate when people do that. Other times he might actually mean it. Either way, he is a dick.

I guess I should give some context for my rant. I just got home from work (yeah...awesome), watched the end of the Mets game (which they lost because partially because David Wright is going senile or can't count or both), and jumped on my laptop to check out youporn..er..I mean cnn.com and then decided to see what happened in the world of hockey during the afternoon. So of course I went to espn.com...oh no wait, this isn't 2003 and ESPN doesn't carry hockey anymore so they have only one guy who is a Juliet Alpha (codeword for Jack Ass) by the name of Burnside writing for them during the summer.

So I went to tsn.ca. And I saw a clip of the Stars welcoming Avery to their squad. After showing that annoying mojito commercial (which leaves Mags dancing in his living room), they only showed one or two minutes and of course Avery had some dickhead thing to say. Something to the effect that he is "obviously" coming to a team that is better that the team he used to be on (the Rangers). First of all, Dick, the Rangers and the Stars had the same number of points in the regular season last year. Second of all, you're a dick. (I really had only one point, but I started off with "first of all" because I thought I'd come up with a second. Turns out I couldn't.)

Okay...so are the Stars better than the Rangers? Maybe. Is it "obvious" that is the case? No. That's why Avery is a dick. I loved the guy on the Rangers but I hope he sucks in Dallas, gets into a big fight with Modano, and sleeps with Morrow's wife and Guy Carbonneau's daughter. Now that might sound like a lot for him to do, but Carbonneau's daughter is Morrow's wife, so he can kill two birds with one stone on that one.

PS: Could Guy be any more French Canadian in that tux? Someone get that guy some poutine.

51-year old Kelly Klein? Really?

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08012008/gossip/pagesix/cougar_chaser_122471.htm

Apparently, Sean Avery is really getting into fashion these days. Literally. But is tagging Calvin Klein's wife the best way to do it? Plus, she is 51. I mean, she is pretty hot for a 51-year old, but she is 51. If you're going to go for a 50+ year old, at least go for Christie

(54) . I think she is single. http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/25/brinkley-im-dating-again-no-more-whackjobs/